12/31/2010

Best Doggone Blocks of 2010

And now, the nominees for Best of the Blocks 2010 in the category "Best Block from When In Doubt, Pet the Dog," a periodic memoir or journal, or blog thingy:

Grumpy Old Dogs: Story of two old dogs who've been wrestling buds since puppyhood.

A Whole Lotta Pettin' Going On: Do you believe in talking dogs whose words can be translated onto an internet blog for Pet the Dog Week at Randy Boyd's Blocks?

Hip Loves Walt Loves the Bearcat: Canine host of Pet the Dog Week barks about his literary debut in author's fourth novel.

The Bitch with Cancer in Her Throat: Heart-wrenching tale of the courageous dog who almost won the starring role in When In Doubt, Pet the Dog.

Dog Over Troubled Waters: Lighthearted story of a new dog owner's misguided attempts to introduced his new puppy to water.

Dog Years: Author copes with his dog's aging by discrediting humans' miscalculation of a dog's age.

And the winner is ... every block labeled When In Doubt, Pet the Dog, now and forever at Randy Boyd's Blocks!

12/30/2010

Food Services Is Closed for the Night

Boomer's a beggar. Whenever there's food, he's there with those big, brown eyes, giving me that look, the one he hopes earns him a piece of ... something, anything.

I guess I can't blame my twelve-year-old golden mutt. Aren't all dogs beggars?

Some historians theorize it was young wolf cubs begging around early man's campfires that led to the creation of man's best friend.

Still, you'd think two squares a day, plus treats, would be enough for my best friend.
"Some days, I feel like a treat machine."
Not so. Boomer wants a piece of everything, even though I rarely give him anything. Anything that is, except his food and the occasional bit of people food.

Did I mention the chicken breast treat he gets each and every time we come in the house after he's done his business? Or something good?

Some days, I feel like a treat machine, or a dorm cafeteria worker, which has to explain the phrase I came up with to give myself a respite from my dog's begging.

I say it as I'm tidying up the kitchen before going to bed. Naturally, Boomer joins me with that hungry face that says, pretty please?

That's when I look directly into those big, brown eyes and utter the one thing that puts an end to the begging:

"Food services is closed for the night."

At which point Boomer lowers his head in resignation, exits the kitchen and goes to sleep. At which point I exhale with relief to know the stalking, excuse me, begging, is over, at least for another day.

12/29/2010

Best of Trikke Randy in 2010

And now, the nominees for Best of the Blocks 2010 in the category Best Trikke Randy Block:

So You Think You Can Trikke: Sound advice for those shopping for a Trikke and wondering, Dealer or No Dealer?

Big Boys, Big Toys: Celebration of big guys and the big Trikkes they love to ride.

Scariest Halloween Trikke Ride Ever: Thriller about a trikker's worst enemy: rain.

Thankful for My Trikke
: Joyous ruminations on the reasons for loving Trikke.

Trikkers Love Trikking in Long Beach
: Ride report wrap-up of the first-ever, organized Trikke ride in Long Beach, California.

10 Things I Learned While Trikking
: Whimsical observations made while Trikking.

And the winner is ... every block labeled Trikke Randy, now and forever at Randy Boyd's Blocks.

12/28/2010

eBook it!

Journey over the Bridge Across the Ocean, or come face to face with the Devil Inside like never before with Randy Boyd's ebooks, now available at the Barnes & Noble online store.

Both novels were Lambda Literary Award Finalists. Now both novels can be downloaded and read on digital devices, including your PC, Mac, iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, Blackberry or nook.

Your on-the-go, digital reading options just got better with the Bridge Across the Ocean and the Devil Inside, now available as ebooks!

12/27/2010

Best Obama Blocks of 2010

And now, the nominees for Best of the Blocks 2010 in the category Best Obama Files Block:

Party Like It's 1947: Just when you thought it was safe to walk into a integrated restaurant, racism rears its ugly, ignorant head again.

Black People: Your President Needs You!:
Reminder to the black folk of America: you would not be better off with a white president of either party.

The Secret to Obama's Success
: How does this man keep defying odds and getting things done? Obama's got a secret.

We Are the Kennedy Babies: Ode to the newborn babies born during the 1,000 days of the Kennedy Administration.

President Obama's Faults: Compliation of all for which the first black president is to blame. And then some.

And the winner is ... every block labeled the Obama Files, now and forever at Randy Boyd's Blocks.

12/24/2010

How To Make Santa Claus Work for You

Not satisfied with Santa? Unhappy with the gifts life gives you? Wondering why you never get what you want? Reminder to kids of all ages: be very specific about your dreams.

It's a lesson learned by one Bear Coleman in Walt Loves the Bearcat, a story of love, football and some very potent daydreams. Roll clip!



“Think back to something you asked Santa Claus for,” said B.O. “Doesn’t matter if it was the real Santa or your parents--whoever it was that made your Christmas dreams come true. Go back to when you believed a Santa existed in your life, and you asked that Santa for something, something you were full of passion over, something you just had to have, or life as you knew it would cease to exist.”

“At this age, I have a definite answer for that,” said Bear. “But as a kid--I don’t remember him being so attached to any one boy--I mean toy.”

“Either one,” said B.O.

“I did ask for a microscope one time, but I don’t remember it being a big deal,” said Bear. “In fact, I really never played with it. How do you play with a microscope? I guess I never asked Santa for much.”

“I’ll give you my point for free anyway,” sighed B.O. “Most kids get passionate over something they want for Christmas. When they do, the quest begins. They know exactly what they want, the color, the size, the accessories, where to get it, everything crucial to their dream. They make sure Santa knows all those details, too. Kids don’t take chances. They know how to be very specific about their dreams, because before the world tells them otherwise, kids believe in asking for exactly what they want, then giving Santa and the world a shot at making those dreams come true.”

“What if Santa can’t afford it?” asked Bear. “Or it’s not available in the right color? Or outta stock because all the other boys and girls want him—it?”

“You really don’t have a lot of practice at this, do you?” said B.O.

“If you mean believing a white man from the North Pole is gonna make all my dreams come true, that would be a definite ... negative,” said Bear.

“Kids leave the details to Santa and Santa’s helpers, because kids understand their miracles don’t happen by themselves,” said B.O. “It takes helpers they see and don’t see, and helpers they know and don’t know. This whole Santa thing—it ain’t just a marketing gimmick, after all.”

“It ain’t?” asked Bear.

“Everything around you is here to remind you that your dreams can come true,” said B.O.

“The Green Bay Packers,” said Bear. “I fell in love with the Green Bay Packers and I wanted a Green Bay everything, t-shirt, ski cap, poster, rain jacket, bobble head. But most of all, I wanted a Green Bay Packers lettermen jacket.”

“I can tell by your glow, even in this cave, Santa delivered,” said B.O.

“She sure did,” said Bear. “Mama Rent called all over town and finally found a mall a million miles away that had one in my size. We both broke down and cried.”

“Would never have happened, if you hadn’t believed in Santa,” said B.O.

“So what--you’re my new Santa?” asked Bear.

“And if I was?” asked B.O. ...

  • To see if Bear gets his wish, read Walt Loves the Bearcat. And remember, next time a Santa comes into your life, be sure to ask for exactly what you want, and for goodness sake, be specific!