12/30/2009

For Santa's Sake, Be Specific!

Not satisfied with what Santa brought you? Unhappy with the gifts given to you in life? Wondering why you never get what you want? Reminder to kids of all ages: be very specific about your dreams.

It's a lesson learned by one Bear Coleman in Walt Loves the Bearcat, a story of love, football and some very potent daydreams. Roll clip!



“Think back to something you asked Santa Claus for,” said B.O. “Doesn’t matter if it was the real Santa or your parents--whoever it was that made your Christmas dreams come true. Go back to when you believed a Santa existed in your life, and you asked that Santa for something, something you were full of passion over, something you just had to have, or life as you knew it would cease to exist.”

“At this age, I have a definite answer for that,” said Bear. “But as a kid--I don’t remember him being so attached to any one boy--I mean toy.”

“Either one,” said B.O.

“I did ask for a microscope one time, but I don’t remember it being a big deal,” said Bear. “In fact, I really never played with it. How do you play with a microscope? I guess I never asked Santa for much.”

“I’ll give you my point for free anyway,” sighed B.O. “Most kids get passionate over something they want for Christmas. When they do, the quest begins. They know exactly what they want, the color, the size, the accessories, where to get it, everything crucial to their dream. They make sure Santa knows all those details, too. Kids don’t take chances. They know how to be very specific about their dreams, because before the world tells them otherwise, kids believe in asking for exactly what they want, then giving Santa and the world a shot at making those dreams come true.”

“What if Santa can’t afford it?” asked Bear. “Or it’s not available in the right color? Or outta stock because all the other boys and girls want him—it?

“You really don’t have a lot of practice at this, do you?” said B.O.

“If you mean believing a white man from the North Pole is gonna make all my dreams come true, that would be a definite ... negative,” said Bear.

“Kids leave the details to Santa and Santa’s helpers, because kids understand their miracles don’t happen by themselves,” said B.O. “It takes helpers they see and don’t see, and helpers they know and don’t know. This whole Santa thing—it ain’t just a marketing gimmick, after all.”

“It ain’t?” asked Bear.

“Everything around you is here to remind you that your dreams can come true,” said B.O.

“The Green Bay Packers,” said Bear. “I fell in love with the Green Bay Packers and I wanted a Green Bay everything, t-shirt, ski cap, poster, rain jacket, bobble head. But most of all, I wanted a Green Bay Packers lettermen jacket.”

“I can tell by your glow, even in this cave, Santa delivered,” said B.O.

“She sure did,” said Bear. “Mama Rent called all over town and finally found a mall a million miles away that had one in my size. We both broke down and cried.”

“Would never have happened, if you hadn’t believed in Santa,” said B.O.

“So what--you’re my new Santa?” asked Bear.

“And if I was?” asked B.O. ...


To see if Bear gets his wish, read Walt Loves the Bearcat. And remember, next time a Santa comes into your life, be sure to ask for exactly what you want, and for goodness sake, be specific!

12/28/2009

Obama Cares

President Obama isn't the only intelligent black man happy about the passage of the Health Care Reform Bill in the Senate.

See why this intelligent black man is also elated, and why the first black president reminds me of me in President Obama: Good for My Health, now and forever at Randy Boyd's Blocks.

12/24/2009

Guest Who's Coming to the Blocks

Sometimes, a writer's too busy writing novels to write other things. Thankfully freaky deaky technology allows for a most fascinating download between my brain and my blog.

The result is a special feature on the Blocks called Guest Who?, featuring guest bloggers from my novels and short stories.

I might have created the characters, but the characters are creating their own blog posts all by themselves. Freaky? Tell me about it! But first, be my guest and see for yourself in the Blocks labeled Guest Who?, now and forever at Randy Boyd's Blocks.

12/23/2009

Write the Writer

Comment? Question? Friend? Media Request?

12/22/2009

When Ryan Phillippe Had One Gay Life to Live

Nowadays, gay characters on daytime soap operas fall in and out of love, and even--can you imagine such a thing--kiss!

Roughly twenty years ago, such was not the case. In 1992, One Life to Live dared to tell what is still the biggest "gay" storyline in the history of daytime television. At the center of that story was a young gay teenager, played by a 17-year-old newcomer named Ryan Phillippe.

Below is a reprint of my article, "One Gay Life to Live," which originally appeared in the August 28, 1992, issue of
Frontiers Magazine.


One Gay Life to Live

With little fanfare and even less protest, this has been the summer of gays on television ... relatively speaking. One the non-entertainment side, there was the entertaining Democratic National Convention, where the presence of gays reverberated throughout the week and Bob Hattoy told the world, “Yes, I am gay and I have AIDS.”

Elsewhere, the Fox network included a gay man in the mix on Melrose Place, its new Beverly Hills 90210 clone. So far, the character of Matt (played by Doug Savant) is underdeveloped, but he is gay and he is present.

Over on MTV's The Real World, one of the seven people picked to live in a Manhattan loft for three months and have their lives taped, bad hair days and all, turned out to be gay. Norman talked about his sexuality, fell in and out of love with another man and pursued his painting, all to the acceptance by his loft-mates.
“It was a really emotionally charged day,” says Ryan Phillippe, the 17-year-old actor.
But the most ground-breaking experience for gays on entertainment TV this summer might be what's going on weekday afternoons on ABC's daytime drama, One Life to Live. For it is here, in the fictional town of Llanview, that gay issues are taking center stage.

Soapdom has featured gay characters twice in the past--a lesbian on All My Children in 1983 and a gay man on As the World Turns in 1988--but those plots were minor in scope compared to One Life's all encompassing tale.

Almost daily for the last few months, the show has featured such scenes as a teenage boy wrestling with coming out; a worried mother letting her guard down long enough to ask her minister if homosexuality is a sickness; an upstanding matron (who has been the rock of the show for over 20 years) informing others that gays are not automatically child molesters; and a straight teenager sticking up for his gay best friend when his homophobic father orders them not to see each other again.
"Billy Douglas (Ryan Phillippe) found he could no longer contain his gay feelings."
“I want to change people's minds,” says Linda Gottlieb, the executive producer of One Life to Live who came on board a year ago to revive the New York show's sagging ratings.

Change people's minds? Well, at the very least, Gottlieb's making them think.

The story began in late spring when the Rev. Andrew Carpenter (Wortham Krimmer) received a permanent visit from his father, Gen. Sloan Carpenter (Roy Thinnes). Instantly the two were at odds, especially over the general's denial that his other son, William, was gay and died of AIDS.

At the same time, 16-year-old Billy Douglas (Ryan Phillippe) found he could no longer contain his gay feelings and went to Rev. Carpenter seeking guidance. Carpenter--whom the audience knows as straight--was supportive, but their friendship ignited a rumor that he had made sexual advances to Billy.
"The town's new police commissioner is trying to root out gay and lesbian cops."
From there, a wave of hysteria engulfed the denizens of Llanview. Billy's ultra-conservative parents went after Rev. Carpenter, who denied the seduction charges but refused to declare his sexuality on the grounds of privacy.

At first Billy was traumatized into silence; eventually, he found the courage to clear the reverend (without coming out himself), but it was too late to stop the town's homophobic witch hunt.

Now, rocks are being hurled through windows, “fag” has been spray-painted on the reverend's door, and petitions and protests for and against gay rights are the norm in Llanview.

Most of the town's “good” characters have been decidedly pro-gay, but the show is not without its share of realistic, anti-gay sentiment from the general, Billy's parents, and others. For example, the town's new police commissioner is trying to root out gay and lesbian cops by getting fellow officers to name names and firing those who won't cooperate.
“What happens if my son or daughter were gay? Do I have enough love in my heart to deal with it?”
The story and most of its ripples will culminate at the end of August when several characters, including Rev. Carpenter and Billy, visit the Names Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. The outdoor scenes were shot on location in New Vernon, N.J., using over 250 real panels from the Quilt along with a fictional panel for the character of the reverend's brother.

“It was a really emotionally charged day,” says Ryan Phillippe, the 17-year-old actor who portrays Billy Douglas. “You couldn't turn around without seeing someone with tears in their eyes.”

In an age where protests against positive gay roles on television are heard louder than the roles themselves, it's somewhat shocking that One Life to Live has decided to go this far out on a limb.

But Linda Gottlieb, who hired gay psychiatrist Richard Isay as a consultant, never wavered from her intent. “We wanted to make people understand that gays are people just like their own children, that they come in all shapes and sizes,” she says.
"Phillippe says he now has gay friends and a lot more compassion for those different than him."
Thus the character of Billy was introduced as the captain of the swim team before the audience learned he was gay.

“I hope people will also begin to understand it from the point of view of the parents,” adds Gottlieb. “What happens if my son or daughter were gay? How would I react, do I have enough love in my heart to deal with it?”

Much to Gottlieb's surprise, ABC has been very supportive. “We were all sort of girding our loins to do battle with the network and sponsors and they've been quite superb. Our ratings are up and fan mail was up 500 percent last month.”

The content of the mail? “Overwhelming pro.”

Phillippe himself has received in the neighborhood of 600 letters (40 percent from gays and lesbians) and all but one has been positive. The numbers are encouraging, if not necessarily the content.

“A lot of kids write and say things like they're giving themselves to the end of the summer to figure out whether they want to live or die,” says Phillippe. “I'm talking some really heavy stuff. They're contemplating suicide and they're asking me how they should deal with it.”
“I don't think many people understand the power of what One Life to Live is doing right now.”
Phillippe seeks out professional advice on how to write back, often sending along information and hotline numbers. If there's a bright side to the letters, it's that their authors now have someone to reach out to; many of his older gay fans say they wish they'd had Billy as a role model when they were young.

It's what makes Phillippe glad he accepted the role earlier this year, just as he was graduating high school in New Castle, Delaware.

"It's been nothing but a positive experience,” says the straight actor, who admits he hesitated about taking on a gay role. “I grew up in a Baptist school so I led a fairly sheltered life and I didn't know exactly how to deal with homosexuals 'cause I never had to. I never had any as friends and I couldn't understand how somebody could feel like that.”

But that's all changed in a few short months, thanks in part to the show. Phillippe says he now has gay friends and a lot more compassion for those different than him. “I've learned that humankind as a whole needs to have more understanding for others' needs and if you can't understand someone, that shouldn't give you reason to ridicule them. That's what I hope our audience gets out of the show because that's what I've gotten out of playing the role.”

“I don't think many people understand the power of what One Life to Live is doing right now,” says Chris Fowler, acting executive director of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation in Los Angeles. “It's a tremendously innovative storyline for daytime television. Gay and lesbian teens are seeing someone just like them coming to grips with his sexuality.

“Linda Gottlieb deserves quite a bit of support from the gay and lesbian community,” adds Fowler, citing inside reports of network nervousness and the usual barrage of anti-gay phone calls, which is why, he stresses, the gay community needs to write to ABC in support of the show.

At least until the storyline reaches its upcoming climax, One Life to Live will continue to bring gay issues every weekday afternoon to over five million viewers. As for the future, Linda Gottlieb says the character of Billy is so successful, he'll remain on the show as “a teenager who happens to be gay.”

But what about giving him a love interest? “That'll really rock 'em,” she jokes. Gottlieb will make no promises, but adds, “You never know. If you have only one life to live in the media, you might as well do it on an important story.”

12/21/2009

When Magic Johnson Shocked the World

In 1991, Magic Johnson shocked the world when he announced his HIV status in a press conference that became one of those "where were you?" moments in television history.

Later that night, in my journal, I wrote about my reaction to the world's reaction to Magic's big news. A few weeks later, that journal entry became an essay in Frontiers magazine, sharing with the world how it felt, being Just Like Magic.

12/19/2009

Leaving My Footprint on Planet Earth

Someday I'm gonna die, just like every descendant of the great apes before me. I'm not that good. I got skillz, but believe me, I know I'm gonna die.

What am I leaving behind? My books, my blogs, my words, my images, my legacy. That way, I'll still be here, long after Life After Me.

12/17/2009

In Love with AIDS

There are plenty of dating shows featuring mostly-white people searching for love, but what about a black man living with AIDS?

Are my romantic hopes and dreams worthy of Hollywood's attention? Is it too much to ask the world to Dream of a Sexy, Black Author Living with AIDS?

This sexy, black author living with AIDS declares: Why not me? America, Hook Me Up!

12/16/2009

Little Boy, Big Sports Dreams

"Here’s to the day when a kid can be honest with himself and the world from the moment he conceives of himself as a lover of men, and be afforded the exact same chance as every other kid to have a successful career in professional basketball, football or baseball, without one single atom wasted, harassing him for being who he is."

—from Walt Loves the Bearcat
by Randy Boyd

I was once a little boy with big sports dreams. Now I'm an author whose platform is "homosexuality in sports: evolving and dealing with it."

I deal with it by asking the sports world: How Much Is Your Homophobia Worth?, by telling college football players to Lighten Up on Your Gay Teammates!, and by wondering aloud Homophobia in the NBA: Who’s To Blame?

I deal with it by pointing out an NFL Coach's Homophobic Dreams, by writing epic sports novels, like, Walt Loves the Bearcat, and most of all, by dreaming of that future day when all boys, regardless of their sexual orientation, have an equal shot at big sports dreams.

12/15/2009

Catch Him by Surprise

... the creaky sound of the front door opening. It was Sal. Alone. She had a worn look on her face and a bag of groceries in her arms. Her hair was uncombed, her posture battle-fatigued. A mother in the midst of a major life crisis, the kind they didn’t prepare mothers for.

She labored toward the kitchen to get rid of the groceries she had been in the middle of paying for when she got the emergency call on her cell phone. She dropped the bag on the countertop and shook her head. Should she even concern herself with putting away the perishables?

She heard a noise. Paranoia? No, there it was again, a creak. In another room, the hardwood floor had creaked.

What now, she thought, I’m being robbed?

She grabbed a large butcher knife from the dish rack and exited the kitchen. The noise had come from one of the bedrooms, she decided. Heart racing, stomach churning, she made her way down the hallway, creeping and cautious. It was dark, but she didn’t dare turn on the light or make a sound. Catch him by surprise. Slice off his nuts. See if he fucks with a pissed-off Latina ever again.

—from The Devil Inside,
the Suspense Thriller
by Randy Boyd

12/14/2009

Best Light

"Try thinking of every single thing that happens in your life in the best light. You’ll be amazed at how this world will light up with magic that will have your eyes trying to pop outta dem sockets!”

—from Walt Loves the Bearcat
by Randy Boyd

12/13/2009

Riots and Remembrance

The most popular post on Randy Boyd's Blocks, to date: Sometimes I Forget I'm a Nigger.

12/12/2009

Tea Party for WHITES AND LATINS ONLY

It's my personal experience that 85% of all gay men, regardless of race, won't date black men. A recent survey in AIDS and Behavior found "blacks are deemed the least preferred as sexual partners by men of other ethnicities."

Nearly every gay man in My Racist Gay World who has prejudged All Black Men to be unlovable will tell you: "I'm not a racist, it's nothing personal, just a preference."

The racist never admits to being racist.

That preference has roots. That preference was not born out of thin air. That preference is a not-so-distant evolutionary cousin of the same kind of hateful, racist venom being hurled at America's first black president, as seen in the negative depictions of President Obama at Tea Party protests.
"Look at today's wedding photos. How many wedding parties are integrated?"
A few decades ago, images of black men and women as savages were the stuff of ad campaigns for everyday products, as well as an entire genre of mainstream entertainment. A poster like Obama Care could have easily been an ad for a fresh pot of a new brand of coffee. The way Americans get their morning started right!

The Tea Partiers and extreme Right, revivers of a true American art form--revolting images of niggers--are a group that was once the majority in America. It stands to reason, these were the great grandparents of the current WHITES AND LATINS ONLY gay generation, more or less.

There was a time in America's 234 year history where 100% of the population hated niggers, more or less, so to speak. As recently as 60 years ago, 50% of the population hated niggers, more or less (and that's being quite generous, isn't it, Mr. Jackie Robinson?)

It stands to reason, not all of white America has overcome all of its hatred and fear of black people. Perhaps it's not expressed as it was in the past, but look at today's wedding photos. How many wedding parties are integrated?
"Pink and Blue weren't the only colors given meaning to our world before we were born."
Look at people's Facebook pages. How many white people have only white friends, more or less? If you judge America by people's personal photos on the Internet, black and white are not so integrated in modern America life.

It stands to reason then, not all of white gay America has overcome all of its hatred of niggers, either. What's shocking, perhaps, is the blatant, unchecked, unchallenged expression of that hatred turned preference on the gay Internet.

It's akin to a digital Gay Tea Party revolt. The roar is loud and angry, the message explicit, the words blunt, harsh and capitalized. All over the net, countless gay men of all races are shouting to the world: WHITES AND LATINS ONLY! NO BLACKS! NO ASIANS!

“But I'm not a racist,” ten out of ten of them will say about their “preference.” My best friend is black. I know what I like. I voted for Barack Obama. It's nothing personal, just a preference.

That “preference” has roots. The idea of excluding a whole "race" of people from your dreams was not born out of thin air. Pink and Blue weren't the only colors given meaning to our world before we were born, after we were born, as we were raised, as we all absorbed the world around us.

The challenge then, for all modern Americans--regardless of race, politics or sexual identity--becomes one of, shall we remain chained to our roots, or shall we overcome a past that shackles us and keeps us apart from one another?

12/04/2009

I'm Not Gay, Just Jock Crazy!

I am not gay, nor have I ever been gay. I repeat, gay does not = me.

I'm capable of having sex with a man or a woman, but I can only imagine being in love, soul to soul, with a man. Why? Who's to truly say, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with being Jock Crazy.

What is Jock Crazy? When did I catch it? Is someone born Jock Crazy? What are its side effects? Can a person who's Jock Crazy be changed?

Find out on my whole other blog in a 14-part saga that reveals why I'm not gay, just Jock Crazy!

12/01/2009

World AIDS Daydreaming

I dreamed a dream today.

I dreamed of a world that cares about people living with HIV/AIDS.

I dreamed of Hollywood making movies where people fall in love with characters living with HIV/AIDS.

I dreamed people stop using the terms "clean" and "disease-free."

I dreamed people stop using the term "fight AIDS," as if somebody's at war with me.

I dreamed of a world that learns to manage its fear of the virus, as I have.

I dreamed of a world that knows what I know about AIDS.

I dreamed a dream today.

I dreamed my life living with AIDS matters.


The Most Important Thing AIDS Has Taught Me
Kids, Ask Your Parents About AIDS
AIDS Survivor's Guilt
How To Love Someone with AIDS
I Love My AIDS-Infected Body!
Stop Calling Me Dirty and Disease-Ridden!
Disease-Free At Last

11/26/2009

Thankful for My Teeth

I've been told by two different dentists that I have good teeth, genetically speaking. That's quite a blessing, especially since I've rarely seen a dentist in the last 15-20 years. Like many longtime survivors of AIDS, preventative dental care took a backseat to trying to save my life.

Now, in my twenty-fourth year living with the virus, I've made a re-commitment to my teeth. Not only will I continue to be a diligent brusher, I will also be a diligent flosser and get regular check-ups and cleanings.

Recently, I had my first x-rays in years. Some deep cleaning ahead and one minor filling, but that's it. Nothing major needed. I love my teeth. For giving me my smile. For holding up so well, even in neglect. And for reminding me of the amazing gifts my ancestors gave me.

May I use them to the best of my ability.

11/24/2009

Best Reality Show About Raising Kids

A reality show with a title like World's Strictest Parents has two strikes against it: it's a “reality show” and the title bespeaks of extreme freakish behavior. But the reality is, World's Strictest Parents is a breakthrough from which we can all learn a thing or two.

A show that originated in the UK, the American version, as seen on MTV, features two “troubled” teens going to live with a family with “strict parents” for one week. The teens--one male, one female--don't know one another and come from families where their parents have reached their wits' end managing their rebellious kid. Think: How did my sweet little girl turn into this monster who says, Mom, fuck off!

The “troubled” teens are similar in that, at home, they lack things such as enforced rules, consequences for bad behavior, the notion that bad behavior includes saying, Leave me the fuck alone! and walking out of the house. Many of these teens smoke, drink, use drugs and love to skip school and party!
"No back talk, no attitude, no complaining, no rolling of the eyes."
Most sane adults over age 35 would tell you: these kids are heading down the wrong highway in life ... unless you want to end up a statistic, as my parents would say. But the “troubled” teens are clueless. They know it all, and no one can tell them any different. Anybody else remember those days? lol

Cue the World's Strictest Parents to save the day. Send these bad-ass kids off to Brady Bunch Camp--21st century-style--and behold the transformation. By the time they reunite with the folks, the exorcism is complete, and the teens have rekindled the better version of themselves that says, “I love you, Mom and Dad, and I wanna help out around the house (and stop sneaking out and partying every night)."

What does the trick? Better parenting--not by better people, but by parents who have better tools.

For the “strict” parents, parenting is a full-time, hands-on job, on which they remain vigilant and consistent. Their kids have house rules, chores and consequences for disobeying. Expectations!
"Maybe it's not so bad having a strict, loving parent to keep you on the right track."
The “strict” parents explain to their kids they're doing this out of love, to better prepare them for the real world, which has rules, chores and consequences for disobeying, whether you like it or not.

The “strict” parents are consistent. They check rebellion at every level, no back talk, no attitude, no complaining, no rolling of the eyes--you know, the stuff that gets you fired from your job, if you get the job at all?

The “strict” parents hold their kids accountable. Lying has consequences, often physical work. That'll make you think twice. These parents don't back down or give in--you know, the way a prison guard won't give in when you're doing time for drug possession?

The “strict” parents do charity work with their kids, so their kids learn the value of helping others (instead of always thinking, me, me, me!), so their kids see how some people are less fortunate (and maybe it's not so bad having a strict, loving parent to keep you on the right track), so their kids see how they might end up if they keep skipping high school.

The “strict” parents have fun with their kids, usually a reward after a hard day's work around the house (as a team). This helps kids learn there's a time for work and a time for play.

The “strict” parents take time to explain themselves to their children in calm, rational voices. No screaming. No violence. No abuse. As a result, the teenage kids of the “strict” parents seem far from “troubled” and much better equipped for the road ahead. They also seem like the kinds of kids who would never dream of saying, fuck off! to their parents.

While on furlough from home, the "troubled" teens receive a letter from their parents, and hear for the first time how much they've hurt their parents with their foul language and disrespect.

Most of the teens are shocked, as if it had never occurred to them they might be sending daggers through their parents' hearts with each flippant remark. That alone is enough to break any last resistance. Honesty. Another useful tool in parenting. We could all learn a thing or two from the world's strictest parents.

11/20/2009

Of Grapefruits and Men

I used to think all males were either straight or gay. Then I grew up and realized the truth about men.

You, too, can behold the secret. You, too, can know the knowledge. You, too, can be wise to the wisdom.

How? Find out in The Grapefruit Theory, or What Men Really Do, only at Randy Boyd's Blocks!

11/18/2009

No Blacks, No Asians, No Offense

The Segregation Era lives on in my racist gay world. This is what it looks like in pictures.

WHITES AND LATINS ONLY, a photo essay featuring gay men's online words in images reminiscent of the segregated Old South.

11/17/2009

NFL Players: Lighten Up on Your Gay Teammates

Pro football is bigger than ever. Gay people are everywhere. Does this mean some of the gladiators of the NFL are gay? Duh!

Any player--or fan--still under the illusion that there are no gay football players has probably suffered from one too many blows to the head. Men who have sex with men exist in every segment of every society.

It's time for pro football players to grow up and accept a fact of life. And be men about it! Find out why in Dear NFL Players: Tear Down This Wall.

11/15/2009

A Writer to Reckon With

The following book review for my second novel, Bridge Across the Ocean, appeared in the September 2000 edition of the Lambda Book Report.


The follow up to Randy Boyd's Lambda Literary Award nominated suspense thriller Uprising is a surprising change of pace.

Bridge Across the Ocean is an intimate novel about relationships, most specifically the relationship between an HIV-positive African-American man who encounters and befriends two straight white teenagers while on vacation in Cancun in 1988.

The book encompasses several themes: the attraction between an older man and a boy below the age of consent; the possibilities of racism and homophobia; and the question of whether it is possible for a gay man and a straight boy to be friends in a society desperately afraid of pedophilia. That Boyd is able to not only pull these difficult themes off without either pandering or moralizing is a testament to his enormous writing talent.
“A powerful, emotional novel that cannot help but move the reader.”
The sexual attraction that Derek, the main character, feels for the older boy, Rob Velarde, and the conflict this poses for Derek is beautifully handled. Although the temptation is strong, Derek realizes the danger inherent in attempting to seduce a teenager, and ultimately has to decide whether a seduction is worth the potential damage it could cause, not only for himself but for Rob's emotional and psychological development.

The characters of Rob and his younger brother, Skeeter, are realistically drawn. The scene where Derek comes out to their mother, Roberta, is almost painful in its realism and raw emotion.

Ultimately, this is a powerful, emotional novel that cannot help but move the reader. Derek is a heroic figure dealing with an almost impossible situation, and his emotional conflicts are further complicated with dealing with his own HIV status in the late 80's, when the current meds were a far-off dream.

The book words on every level, and Randy Boyd is definitely a writer to reckon with.

11/12/2009

Black and Proud (of America)

Black People of America, I am proud to say: I have officially deleted all my skepticism about the United States of America and its great democratic experiment. And I am here to tell you: You can, too!

That's right. You, too, can believe that America is the greatest country on earth!

You, too, can feel good about being born in the USA. Find out how in Black Man Confesses: I Love America!

11/07/2009

Nigger with a Smile Like Joe Bruin

Black boy feels like shit his whole life, so he makes up a dream world where people like and accept him. But he’s still not convinced they like him for him, so he imagines living his whole life in somebody else’s headspace.

All anyone really sees of the poor bastard is the manufactured mascot head he wears at all times, cool Bear/Joe Bruin, the black boy nobody could hate too much, especially with that goofy grin plastered on his face. I mean, what white man would ever hang a nigger with a smile like Joe Bruin?”
Once upon a time, there was a little black boy, who was me, who doubted his worth. Compared to all the other boys and girls around him, the boy felt worth less, like a black fag. Then the boy fell ill and the illness foretold of scary things to come from the scariest of new worlds: the land of a i d s, that mysterious new beast in the whispers of the dark of the early 1980s ...

The boy, who was a college boy and a college cheerleader, felt like a black fag bound for AIDS, and began to dream of a whole other life, a life where he was HIV-negative, carefree and partners with the love of his life, the quarterback to his cheerleader, of course. Duh! Black male cheerleaders have dreams, too. lol

So the boy, who would be HIV-positive, dreamed of a whole other life where he and his QB buddy tested HIV-negative, and went on to become the “Mr. and Mr. Jackie Robinson of Professional Sports History.” A great love story worthy of an heroic epic. Walt, the quarterback, loves his cheerleader, the Bearcat. A dream come true for a black boy who likes to dream, and write stories about those dreams.

But a curious thing happened on the way to My Whole Other HIV-Negative Life. That version of me took on a life of its own, so to speak. That guy--that HIV-negative, quarterback-loving, famous screenwriter black guy--that fictional character, well, he became his own man: Bear Coleman.

And Bear Coleman kept shouting to my author brain: Hey, writer man, hey, brain! Hey, you! I also have a dream!

And the writer man took note.

Bear's dream: the boy, who would be HIV-negative, dreams of a whole other life where he tests HIV-positive and he and his QB buddy never met! Can he survive as a single man living with AIDS in the modern world?

But a curious thing happened on the way to My Whole Other HIV-Positive Life. Bear Coleman, my dream boy, couldn't escape feeling worth less compared to all the other boys and girls, either! He, too, felt like a black cheer fag who doesn't deserve happy endings, even though he's got his quarterback!

My job as the writer man: merge my dreams and these two characters together into one seamless story about love, football and some very potent daydreams. And create some happy endings, for goodness sake!

O
nce upon a time, there was a little black boy, who was me, whose world was rocked by a little virus that would change his life forever. To survive, he had to dream of better dreams. One of them is my fourth novel, Walt Loves the Bearcat.


Walt Loves the Bearcat
by Randy Boyd

A Lambda Literary Finalist
Best Romance

Available wherever books are sold

Get Walt Loves the Bearcat at amazon.com

More about Walt Loves the Bearcat


"A madcap whirl, Walt Loves the Bearcat is first and forever a love story, one written with a roller-coaster brio and a magical intensity that demand and deserve the reader’s perseverance."
SF Bay Times (Read full review).

"Warm-spirited ... resonates with soulful queries into the nature of love and life." Bay Area Reporter (Read full review).