The Only Reason I'm 'Gay'

This ‘gay’ community I see in the early part of the 21st century is nothing that I can personally identify with or relate to.

Somebody hijacked the word gay. Now it means you’re a Queer Eye Guy, or Will or Grace. If that’s what being gay is, I’m no longer a homo.

Not knocking anyone. We all should be who we are. But when I signed on to this whole gay thing, I did so with the understanding that it was an easy way to convey to the world my number one draft pick for the gender of my sex partners and eventual love of my life, nothing else.

Sex life and love life were the only things I signed up for.

No behavioral tendencies, no special icons and divas, no particular clothes or labels or activities or lifestyle—although I must say, I’ve probably tried them all on for size in the name of finding who I really am.

And this is who I really am: the only reason I’m gay is because there are certain things about a man that I don’t wanna live without. Daily, preferably. The first of those is another man’s soul. After that, everything else is details.

That’s the only reason I check gay on the census form, so to speak.

And as far as labels, I learned a long time ago to let ’em go. So the Queer Eye Guys can keep gay. And I hope all their dreams come true, just like mine. But I’ll just say ... I’m sexual ...

—from Walt Loves the Bearcat
by Randy Boyd
A Lambda Literary Award Finalist for Best Romance
Available wherever books are sold
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