One Homo's Deepest Sports Dream

More about Walt Loves the Bearcat

What Kind of Black Man Can I Be?

More about Walt Loves the Bearcat

Model of Myself

"We live in an age where we are inundated with countless images from countless sources, from TV to movies to pop-up ads. A huge percentage of those images deal with love, sex and romance. Still, rare or nonexistent is the occasion where I encounter an image that reflects who I am and what I dream of. Even rarer and more nonexistent is the occasion where I encounter an image that might encourage another soul to dream of loving someone just like me."

Walt Loves the Bearcat by Randy Boyd

So speaks a little black boy's heart in a black author's fourth novel. My novel. Several months ago, I wondered: “Why would I need a digital camera? What am I gonna take pictures of?” Sometime after that, I purchased a camera, still unsure of the answer. Thankfully, the black author has found the answer. And the little black boy's heart is smiling at the pretty pictures.

Stop Calling Me Dirty and Disease-Ridden!

Dear HIV-Negative Men:

Stop calling me dirty and disease-ridden! Every single time you call yourself “clean” and “disease-free,” you call me, a person living with HIV/AIDS, “dirty” and “disease-ridden.”

Yes, that's right. I admit it. It hurts my feelings every single time I encounter the words “clean” and “disease-free” in reference to health, and I am not alone.

Using phrases like “clean” and “disease-free” while looking for love and sex only tells the world you're misinformed about safer sex and thoughtless in choosing your words.

I understand wanting to avoid viruses, but unfortunately, the disease many so-called “clean” and “disease-free” men suffer from is ignorance and a lack of compassion.

THE FACTS:

The medical terms are HIV-negative and HIV-positive.

If you're practicing SAFE SEX, it doesn't matter if your sex partner is HIV-negative or HIV-positive.

If you're practicing UNSAFE SEX with anyone, regardless of HIV status, you're practicing discrimination and not taking responsibility for your own health.

If you're using terms like “clean,” “disease-free,” “DDF,” “bug-free,” “no bugs,” and the like, you're using words that have different meanings to different people. Using those different words with different meanings while negotiating sex could lead to you yourself becoming the opposite of “clean” and “disease-free.”

Wise up. Think. Does using those harmful words represent you at your best?


Would You Say That to Ryan White?
How to Stay HIV-Negative in an HIV-Positive World
Disease-Free At Last

American All or All-American?

Dear America:

What does it mean to be all-American? Why is it that, for the first 232 years of the country's existence, America's citizens have used phrases like “all-American” and “Boy (or Girl) Next Door” to refer to a wholesome beautiful white person who is, dare one say, a wholesome beautiful representation of “that new world united by states in America?”

We're not talking about honors in sports or academics, or the nationality of one's parentals. This is about those of us who are born, live and most likely, will die in the USA, regardless of all else. Are some of us more American than others? If a beautiful white person is all-American, what does that make this American and the rest of us citizens who aren't beautiful white people (besides not all-American)?

Makes this American wanna change all Americans perspective concerning all-Americans, starting now.

• Randy Boyd's four novels have garnered five Lambda Literary Award nominations and all feature main characters who are black, gay, HIV+ and all American.

Political Survivor: Obama or McCain?

Now that the presidential primaries are over and America has agreed on the results, here's a sneak peak at the political tribal council taking place inside my brain:

For the last eight years, you've been stranded on an island called Bushland, a wilderness full of chaos and disorder threatening to extinguish your flame. Your very survival is at stake. You and the others must escape Bushland or perish ...

You made it through the primary challenge, where everyone voted for the best person to captain the boat taking you and the others to safety. Not everyone got a vote, as it turned out, but those whose votes counted settled on two finalist, both men. Personally, you figured the woman candidate to be the best choice, but she's not an option anymore. To get outta Bushland, you must choose between Captain Obama or Captain McCain, and your survival depends on it.

Captain Obama is a relative newcomer to your brain, but at least he's black like you, so if there's more stormy weather and things get divided up along racial lines, as usual in a crisis, at least Captain Obama and you will be in the same boat ...

But looks can be deceiving, so you need to consider more than just race in the race for survival. You need to ask yourself: which one of these two men has my best interests at heart (my best interests being my own personal welfare and survival). Figure that out, then choose your leader ...

But the tribal council keeps getting interrupted by all the bursts of rhetoric by each candidate about his particular vision, claiming this and that about the world beyond Bushland. The island residents are abuzz with still more rhetoric, claiming this and that about the candidates. As Long John Silver of Treasure Island used to say, Belay that! Look at your own survival, decide for yourself who cares the most about you.

Answer: neither one.

Neither Captains Obama nor McCain has your best interests at heart (nor did Captain Clinton, for that matter). None of these would-be leaders sees you as their equal, equally deserving of the same resources, laws and customs of the land. For you, the Rorschach test for full acceptance of Who I Am is the granting of same-sex marriage privileges—not the civic-minded crumbs leftover from the wedding feast. You want in at the main table. Not a separate but equal so-called equivalent. And not one of the candidates has said: the love you create is just as valuable as the love I create, and I thereby pronounce to you and yours: I support same-sex marriage and will do my absolute best as captain of your ship of dreams to make your dreams come true.

Neither John McCain nor Barack Obama support your deepest dreams. Instead, they cling to ideas created hundreds of years ago by ancient peoples with the kinds of agendas many pundits would now call ... Bushland-like. The oppression. The suppression. The duplicity. The altering of rules to suit the coffers. Those long-dead captains of industrious sex lives—the same men who insisted the world is flat and once sanctioned (for their own profit) prostitution and holy men marrying—these ancient folk are the ones inspiring Obama and McCain's thoughts about you. Beware and be very aware. Beware even more of the one known as McCain. You get the feeling a black homosexual living with AIDS who dreams of equality is expendable in the old man's eyes. You're not expendable to Captain Obama. The one known as Barack has some of your interests at heart, just not the deepest dreams of your heart. The ultimate truth remains: both men see your kind of love (and happiness) as worth less than theirs.

Still, you gotta get yo' ass outta Bush country, and they promise your vote is gonna count, so pick a captain and his crew and hope this brave new world is a less hostile place than the last eight years ...

Footnote: The tribal council done spoken: No way is this brain letting the black ass attached to it sit behind yet another old-ass, white-faced ancient.

Dear NFL Players: Tear Down This Wall

A reminder to the returning gladiators and aspiring gladiators of pro football as the NFL season grinds into gear during these hot summer months:

You've already shared the locker room with men who have had sex with other men. This much is true. Whether you know about it or not, whether they tell you about it or not, whether or not you accept it, whether or not it's you personally, you have already stripped naked, stood naked, scratched naked and showered naked in front of men who have sex with men.

Unless one is completely delusional about the modern world in which we live, as evidenced by all that modern man has witnessed through the media's eyes, every NFL player knows that any man on the street could be a man who has sex with men. That includes football players.

Gay guys. Bi guys. Horny one-night guys. Doesn't matter. You've already survived being in the locker room with someone who has practiced homosexuality. You've already lined up on the line of scrimmage with a man who's in love with another man. You've already tackled or been tackled by a man who thinks of himself as gay. You've played football your entire adult life with men who have sex with men.

The idea of not being able to acknowledge or talk about this truth is wrong, counterproductive and speaks of archaic times when gays hid in the shadows of life and didn't dream of equality. Those days are long gone, as are the days of an athlete pretending not to care about his looks or hair care products.

You've already survived being around gays and made it to the 21st century. But if you can't lighten up and let homosexuals be themselves in pro sports, your offspring's offspring will see you as some sort of dinosaur relic from a time gone by. You want your subsequent seedlings laughing at the odd beliefs you and your kind once held?

Let men who have sex with men, for whatever reason, play football and be open about it. Isn't it about time?

• Randy Boyd is a five-time Lambda Literary Award Finalist and author of Walt Loves the Bearcat, the sports novel that dares to dream of the first out superstar athlete. Walt Loves the Bearcat was a 2006 Lambda Literary Award Finalist under the category Best Romance.
  

The “Out” Pro Athlete Dream

The newest generation of voting-age Americans are the first Americans to be introduced to homosexuality through modern wonders such as the Internet, Ellen DeGeneres, Will and Grace, openly gay kids, openly bisexual kids, openly experimental kids, kids of the same sex kissing on MTV, and the countless queer eyes on television who turn wardrobes and living spaces into fabulous expressions.

Not-so-coincidentally, the newest generation of voting-age Americans are the first to see same-sex marriage as “no big deal,” as shown in poll after poll.

Can openly gay professional jocks be far behind? Not if one believes in the dreams of my fourth novel, Walt Loves the Bearcat, which features the first superstar athlete to “come out” while still in the prime of his football career. The ride for the quarterback and his cheerleader boyfriend is chaotic and bumpy (watch out for Evil Announcer Guy!), but our two heroes remain steadfast in their quest: the right to be happy and in love, just like every other pro jock in the sports world. It's a dream whose time is coming. Just ask the young Americans inheriting our country.