"Boyd, take over!"

A long time ago, in a childhood far, far away,
there was a time when I played football.

Seize the Dog

Boomer has seizures. I first noticed them when, at age five, he suddenly appeared possessed. Daddy’s Special Buddy, my golden mutt, was having a heart attack, or about to see a little alien burst from his gut, like in the Sigourney Weaver movie.

To the vet, we went, my friend Linda driving, me in the backseat with Boomer, singing, “Nothing’s gonna harm you (Not While I’m Around)” from Sweeney Todd. His song.

A few hours—and one hefty vet bill—later, Boomer was back to normal, as if nothing had happened, as if Daddy hadn’t been traumatized out of his mind.

Football Player or Cheerleader?

Back in the 80s, I was on a college football field many a Saturday afternoons come autumn. Now in the 21st century, I'm here to tell the world: College Football Players: Lighten Up on Your Gay Teammates!